Po-Po-Po-Pony Murder
by The Great Hunt
Summary: With the Ponyville Strangler at large, Rainbow Dash wonders if one of her best friends is the murderer. Will Rainbow Dash protect herself, or will she make a donkey of herself?
1. Chapter 1: Birthday's Rainbow

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_. That show/toy line is property of Hasbro. Some of Rainbow Dash's characterization is based from the fan video series _Friendship is Witchcraft_ by Sherclop Pones (Jenny Nicholson and Griffin Lewis). Another acknowledgment I have to make is the plot to this first chapter is based in large part on the episode "Muh-Muh-Muh Murder" of _The Looney Tunes Show_, owned by Warner Brothers. Any other copyrighted materials I may use in this fan fiction are the property of their respective owners.

**AUTHOR NOTE: **The attention/reviews from my last fic, _After Dinner Mint, _(on this site, at least), has inspired me to continue writing. Thank you to any returning readers, and if you are new, welcome. This story will be a lot lighter and softer than _After Dinner Mint_, and is based more off _Rocket to Insanity _by DARKJESTER. However, this fan fic is still rated Mature for later sexual content. This fic is very outside of continuity, and is more like a sit com, a la _The Looney Tunes Show_ to the original _Looney Tunes/Merry Melodies_. Constructive criticism/reviews are greatly appreciated.

Chapter One: Birthday's Rainbow

"Last cupcake, three ponies...what a dilemma," said a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail to her other two friends; a purple unicorn and a pink earth pony. The pegasus was about to continue, when suddenly the pink earth pony's tongue whipped out of her mouth and grabbed the cupcake, quickly snapping back into the pink mouth. The cyan pegasus' eyes grew wide.

"Pinkie!" cried the cyan pegasus.

"What?" replied the pink earth pony, her voice muffled with a mouth full of cupcake. Before a larger argument could grow, the waiter walked by, dropping off the bill.

"I'll get it," said Pinkie, swallowing the cupcake and reaching for her wallet.

"No, it's fine. I'll get it; I still feel bad about destroying your room at Sugar Cube Corner with that stray magic missile. Buying that new house with the down payment and everything must have been expensive," said the purple unicorn.

"Oh, it's fine, Twilight. Time for me to get my own place, anyway. What with the Cakes having their twins and everything. And these payments are really helping my credit. It was super nice of you to co-sign for the loan," said Pinkie.

"Well, being the favourite pupil of Princess Celestia is not without it's advantages. Like a good line of credit," replied the purple unicorn. Turing towards the cyan pegasus, she said

"Rainbow Dash, aren't you at least going to _pretend_ to reach for your wallet?"

The cyan pegasus just leaned back and said "Nah, it's my birthday."

Raising an eyebrow, Twilight countered, "Your birthday is not until _next week_."

Looking non-paused, Rainbow Dash said "It is _well_ in the birthday zone."

Twilight just rolled her eyes and was about to begin writing a cheque when her cell phone rang.

"Hello...Spike?...Whoa...slow down...okay...okay...just...just calm down...I'll be there soon...okay...bye," Twilight said into her phone. Looking back at her friends she said, "Spike broke his arm! Poor thing sounds scared. I'm going right away to the hospital. See you girls later." And with that, Twilight rushed out of the restaurant. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie just looked at each other for a minute.

"Way for Twilight to leave _you_ with the bill," said Rainbow Dash. In response to Pinkie's raised eyebrow, Rainbow Dash added, "didn't bring my wallet."

"Super nice of you to let me stay at your place since Twilight is at the hospital, and my cloud house is still being repaired from that stray fire bolt Twilight shot," said Rainbow Dash as she and Pinkie neared Pinkie's new (old) house.

"Yeah...really wish Twilight would work on her aim," noted Pinkie. The house was an older two-story house from the turn-of-the-century. Although a fixer-upper, Pinkie had already improved the house quite a bit: putting up new wall paper, planting a small flower garden, giving the house a fresh coat of pink paint, restoring the vintage furniture that had come with the house, and in general trying to make the house hers. The garage was a later but still relatively old addition Pinkie used for storage, as she did not have a carriage to put into the garage, although her deflated balloon was in there.

Walking through the front door revealed a hallway with a kitchen to the left, a living room to the right, and a stair case down the side of the hall.

"I've got some work in the kitchen to do. Please, make yourself at home," said Pinkie, stepping into the kitchen, leaving Rainbow Dash to go into the living room. Looking at the décor Pinkie had set up, Rainbow Dash said,

"Ugh! That Pinkie is one crazy pink pony...This wall paper is hideous...and no way those curtains match the carpet...at least she has a tv." With that, Rainbow Dash quickly found the remote laying on a table by a recliner and turned on the tv. A local news broadcast was on, and Rainbow Dash was about to change the channel when suddenly "Special News Update" appeared across the screen. Rainbow Dash focused on the news anchor.

"Up until now, the Ponyville Stranger was thought to be a crazy pony," said the news anchor.

"Huh, just how I just described Pinkie," said Rainbow Dash.

"However, an eyewitness has emerged who describes the Ponyville Stranger as a chubby pink earth pony with big hair. If you see a pony fitting this description, call the authorities immediately," finished the news anchor. Thus ended the news, and then some show about a purple dragon came on Rainbow Dash did not care for, and so turned the tv off. The news broadcast had given her plenty to ponder.

_Nah...Pinkie couldn't be the Ponyville Strangler...even if she is chubby...and pink...and an earth pony...with big hair...wow, she sure does match the description...wonder what she's doing?_

Wanting to convince herself Pinkie could not be the Ponyville Strangler, she peeked into the kitchen. On the far counter, Pinkie was chopping a rainbow trout with a large meat cleaver. The sight of the gore caused Rainbow Dash to pass out.

Rainbow Dash slowly opened her eyes. The room that came into focus was not at all familiar, though she had to admit the bed for comfortable. Quickly realising the room was all pink...

_Gasp! Pinkie's trapped me in her house._

Getting out of the bed and looking at the nearby dresser, Rainbow Dash saw yesterday's newspaper with the front page headline "Ponyville Strangler Strikes Again".

_Pinkie's the Strangler! I have to call the authorities._

To Rainbow Dash's relief, there was a phone on the dresser.

_Gotta call 911...wait, I don't know the number for 911...I know, I'll call 411, and ask them the number for 911...horse apples, I don't know the number for 411...I know! Twilight...I'll call her and ask the number for 411, then call 411 and get the number for 911! Twilight is full of useless information._

Rainbow Dash picked up the receiver and pushed the buttons for Twilight's phone number. However, there was no dial tone.

_She's cut the phone lines! I've got to get out of here!_

Rainbow Dash rushed to the door, only to fly back when she opened it to a confused Pinkie.

"Um...is everything alright, Dashie?" asked Pinkie, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah...everything is just fine...you just scared me...standing there like a sociopath...not that I think you're a sociopath...know what, I'd really like to go to Twilight's now," said Rainbow Dash nervously.

"Okie dookie loki. I'll walk you there," said Pinkie with her characteristic smile.

"Wait...they say never take your killer to a second location," said Rainbow Dash.

"What?" asked Pinkie, her smile leaving her face and her eyebrow raising.

"If you take me to Twilight's, you'd be taking me to a second location," stated Rainbow Dash.

"Um...yeah," replied Pinkie.

"I don't think so, chubby," said Rainbow Dash angrily.

"You think I'm chubby?" asked Pinkie, looking down at her body. True, she did "sample" too many pastries at work, and perhaps she needed to visit the gym more often, but her BMI was barely overweight, much less "chubby". Sure, she lacked the athletic build of Rainbow Dash, but she could outrun her when it was funny.

"Yeah," said Rainbow Dash, getting close to pinkie and shoving a hoof into her chest. "I also think you're pink and have big hair!"

Pinkie gasped in offense. "Rude!" she cried as she ran out of the room.

"Awfully sensitive...for a deranged killer," Rainbow Dash said to herself. Feeling curious, Rainbow Dash then sneaked out of her room into the next room over.

"Ugg...canopy bed...embroidered pillows...frilly curtains. This is either the room of a grandmare...or a serial killer," noted Rainbow Dash. Turning to a nearby dresser, Rainbow Dash began looking through the drawers. "Lookin' for clues, like Scooby Doo...ha, that kinda rhymes!"

Opening the drawers and tossing out a few clothes, Dash noted "no guns, no knives, no body parts". At the last drawer, Dash found it full of sexy panties. "This teal thong would look so hot on Pinkie's Pink ass," said Dash, holding the pair of thongs to her nose and inhaling deeply.

_Could Pinkie really be the Ponyville Strangler...or does she just happen to be chubby, pink, an earth pony, and have big hair, and I'm just jumping to conclusions because I am a narcissistic, paranoid, hateful fearmonger. _

Looking at a picture of Pinkie Pie, big smile on her back and large blue eyes, Rainbow Dash thought a second.

_No, that's the face of a deranged killer..._

Sudden footsteps interrupted her thoughts. Dropping the teal thong on the floor, Dash quickly hid under the bed.

Entering the room and seeing her sexy panties on the floor, Pinkie asked "what are these doing here?" Leaving them for more pressing matters, Pinkie sat on the bed and dialed the phone on the nearby nightstand.

"Hi. Listen, I think she's getting suspicious. It'll have to be tonight. I'll go to the basement to get the special ingredient for those rainbow cupcakes," Pinkie said into the phone. While Pinkie was bent over placing her sexy panties back into the drawer, Dash sneaked out of the room.

_Secret ingredient...rainbow cupcakes...what is she talking about?_

Rainbow Dash just happened to look into a mirror in the hall way, and saw her reflection, her bright mane and tail glittering back.

Rainbow _cupcakes...rainbow _cupcakes!..._She gonna harvest me and...that psycho bitch! I gotta get out of here!_

Rainbow Dash ran down the stairs and tried to jump out the front door, but no matter how hard she pulled, the door would not open.

_She's locked me in!_

"Um...what are you doing?" asked Pinkie, behind Rainbow Dash, eyebrow raised.

"Oh...um...nothing," answered Dash, sweating and smiling nervously.

"Yeah, whatever...look, would you like a sandwich...or something?" asked Pinkie. Her friend's behaviour was really starting to weird her out, which was saying something.

Putting on a big, toothy smile, Dash said "A sandwich would be lovely." With that, Pinkie went into the kitchen while Dash went into the living room.

_What imma gonna do? What imma gonna do!? I don't want to be cupcakes!_

"Here's a tongue sandwich," said Pinkie, entering the room with a sandwich on a plate.

"Who's?" said Dash, taking a few steps back.

"What?" asked Pinkie.

"Um...I'm not really hungry after all...I'm just going to go to bed," said Dash, nervously waking back into the hallway, walking into several lamps and vases. Pinkie just sighed in exasperation.

Back in the guest room, Dash considered her situation.

_Okay...so Pinkie is trying to make me into cupcakes. Stupid Twilight, destroying my safe cloud house with that firebolt. What was that noise?_

Dash tip-hooves down the hall to the top of the stairs. Light from the kitchen showed a pony-shapped shadow with another pony shadow with bouncy hair with a knife in her mouth walking over to the other pony shadow.

_No. Pinkie...Don't do it!_

Suddenly, Pinkie's shadow raised the knife, bringing it down into the other pony shadow a few times before walking away.

_Oh...that poor mare...at least it's over._

Just then, Dash heard the roar of a chainsaw and saw Pinkie's shadow holding a chainsaw. Yelling her nervous tic of "Rainbow!", she literally flew up the stairs into her room.

_This is soo un-rainbow..._

Then Pinkie entered the guest room.

"Hi Dashie. Were you just downstairs?" she asked as she entered.

"No...just been up here the whole time. Things are just rainbow," replied Dash, nauseatingly nervously.

Pinkie frowned and put a hoof to her chin. Rainbow Dash noticed there was red on the hoof.

"You seem kinda...nervous...to me. I'll brew up some chamomile tea," she said, exiting the room.

_Yeah Pinkie. Just brew up some...chamomile tea? Chamomile is the sleepiest of all teas...she's gonna make me fall asleep so she can take me to her basement and harvest my organs for cupcakes. I don't think so, gypsy bitch._

With that, Dash quietly exited her room and went down the hall. A sign on a door saying "KEEP OUT" caught her attention.

_I probably shouldn't go in there...but why do I want to so badly...because I have a problem with authority..._Signs, signs, can't you read the signs..._ha ha, explains why I like whiny 60's protest songs so much._

With that, Dash opened the creaking door and stepped into the dark room. Dash gasped. The walls were covered in photographs of her...there were even pictures hanging from the ceiling.

_Okay...even if I am a narcissistic, paranoid, hateful fear monger...this is just weird...hell, even for a third grade school girl a shine like this is weird, much less for a twenty year old pony..._

"What are you doing in here?" Dash's thoughts were interrupted by Pinkie. Jumping around, Dash saw Pinkie holding a tray with a tea pot and tea cup.

"I know you can read...the others weren't so sure until that time you were reading 'Daring Do' in the hospital...but me and Twilight won that bet. And Twilight even says you're a better reader than Applejack...you're a seventh-grade reading level, and Applejack is only a third grad level..." Pinkie continued.

"Forget reading levels...what the hay is all this?!" Dash interrupted, motioning around the room.

"Sigh...I was trying to keep this secret...but it seems I have to come clean...but I've already had a bath, so I'll just tell you the truth," replied Pinkie, setting down the tray, she opened a drawer on the table and pulled out a picture frame. Holding the picture up, Dash could see a collage of her and the rest of her friends.

"A collage made of assorted pictures of me and my friends...what would process you to make something so _creepy_," said Dash. Raising an eyebrow, Pinkie replied,

"Um...it's what you specifically asked for...and Twilight agreed a collage would suit your narcissism well. I was saving it for your birthday present, but you found out! You're such a smart cookie!"

"Sooo...you're not going to murder me and make me into cupcakes?" asked Dash.

"What!? Why would I murder you and make you into cupcakes?" Pinkie asked.

"Gasp! Only a murder would ask that question!" with that, Dash picked up the tea pot and threw it's boiling contents into Pinkie's face. Screaming, Pinkie rushed Dash, who quickly side stepped her, leaving Pinkie to trip over a table. Rushing into the hall, Dash turned around to see Pinkie running out. When Pinkie was in front of the stairs, Dash pushed her down the stairs, sending the pink pony rolling head first, crashing at the bottom. Dash walked down the stairs, stepping over Pinkie, who grabbed her rear hoof and managed to get out,

"Twi...Twilight..."

"Twilight? What did you do to Twilight? I've got to get over there," said Dash, kicking Pinkie in the face to release her grip. Screaming "Rainbow" as she crashed through the front door, she saw Apple Bloom in Pinkie's front yard.

"Apple Bloom! You gotta get out of here!" cried Rainbow Dash.

"Well, yeah. I've got to get you to Twilight's. Where's Pinkie, it is her plan anyway," said Apple Bloom.

Dash gasped. "You're in on her evil plan, too!"

Apple Bloom smiled and said "Yep. Pretty smart of Pinkie."

Dash lifted herself into the air and began to fly to Twilight's place. Suddenly, she felt a sudden weight on her left hind leg. Looking down, she could see a lasso around her leg, Apple Bloom on the ground on the other end. Determined, Rainbow began flying full speed, dragging Apple Bloom along the ground.

_This silly filly is slowing me down...hey, maybe that cactus field will get her off._

With that, Dash flew over the cactus field, loosing sight of Apple Bloom under the tall cactus. To her surprise, the filly was still hanging on. Dash got another idea from the statue in the middle of town. Flying in an arc and suddenly stopping, Apple Bloom hit into the side of the statue, finally letting go.

_Rainbow. Now to save Twilight. _

In about a minute, Rainbow Dash landed in front of Twilight's house. Opening the door, she found the house dark, but could make out Twilight laying down behind a couch.

_Twilight...I was too late..._

Suddenly, the lights came on, and a cheer of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY", with all her friends appearing behind various pieces of furniture and curtains.

"What...what is all this?" asked Dash in shock.

"Your birthday party, silly filly," said Twilight.

"Um...my birthday isn't until next week?" commented Dash.

"Yeah, but Pinkie called and said you were getting suspicious, so we decided to have it tonight. Pinkie Pie actually did most of the preparations. We really have a good friend."

Just then, a battered Pinkie stepped into Twilight's house. She had a black eye on her red face which had several blisters on it. Before anyone could ask Pinkie how she'd gotten in her current condition, Rainbow Dash said

"Good friend...or the Ponyville Strangler!"

The room gasped. Pinkie exclaimed "What!?"

"Yes...that's why you cut the phone line," said Dash.

"You mean the phone in the guest room...there's not phone jack in there...it was only for decoration," said Pinkie.

"Yes...I remember that phone...I picked it out when we were shopping for décor for Pinkie's new house," added Rarity.

"Ok...then how do you explain locking me in the house?" said Dash.

"Um...with the Ponyville Strangler on the loose, yeah...I keep my front door locked...but you just turn the knob to unlock it," replied Pinkie.

"Wait...that's what that thing's for? Anyway, you have blood on your hooves!" cried Dash grabbing Pinkie's hooves for the room to see.

"Paint...for your birthday banner," said Pinkie, motioning to the large banner that said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAINBOW DASH" in red letters. The other ponies in the room began to whisper to one another about Dash's sudden paranoia.

"You might have all these ponies fooled, but I saw you _kill_ a mare!" said Dash.

"WHAT?!" cried Pinkie, eyes wide.

"With a _chainsaw!_" Dash finished dramatically.

"What was the ice sculpture of you," said Pinkie, annoyed, pointing to an eye sculpture of Rainbow Dash on a table. Suddenly, the tv that Twilight had forgotten to turn off went up in volume as "SPECIAL ANNOUNCMENT" appeared across the screen. A second later, a news anchor began speaking.

"Police are happy to announce the Ponyville Strangler has been captured. Ponies can sleep easy once again," said the news anchor. The screen then switch to a scene of police putting a chubby pink earth pony with a large afro and a sour facial expression into the back of a police car.

"Gotta admit, there is a strong resemblance," said Dash. Pinkie just crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Um...where's Apple Bloom? She was suppose to get Dash so Pinkie could add some finishing touches," said Applejack. As if in answer, a badly battered Apple Bloom walked into Twilight's house.

"Apple Bloom! What the hay happened to ya? You're bruised, bleeding, and...are those cactus needles all over you?" asked Applejack.

"Tried...to get...Dash...cactus field...slammed into statue...why?" Apple Bloom got out before collapsing on the floor.

"Horse apples. Gotta get her to the hospital. Some pony call an ambulance," said Applejack. Turning to Dash, she said, "You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with this, would ya?"

Dash sweated and rubbed the back of her head. "Well, she didn't really explain herself very well...I thought they were trying to turn me into cupcakes..."

"Cupcakes...why in the world would Pinkie Pie and Apple Bloom turn you into cupcakes? That sound like something from a bad fan fiction," noted Fluttershy. Dash just sweated and rubbed the back of her head some more as everypony gave her a dirty look.

"Pinkie said she was going to get some 'special ingredients' from her basement for _rainbow_ cupcakes," Dash said defensively.

"I was meaning _food colouring_, for the _rainbow_ cupcakes!" Pinkie said through her teeth.

"I haven't seen Pinkie this mad since Applejack broke her pinkie promise on that cherry farm," Rarity whispered to Fluttershy.

Her face turning red, Pinkie shouted to Rainbow Dash, "Is THAT what you think of me...think I would even be capable of doing something to stupidly evil to my friend...hay, to one of my _best_ friends! I know the others tolerate me...Twilight patronises me—Applejack has no use for me—Rarity sees me as a foal—Fluttershy thinks my talents are a waste—but you, Dash, I thought you _really_ were my friend. But obliviously not, if in your brain you can make such logical leaps of me preparing a surprise birthday party to _bucking murdering you to make cupcakes._..no, I don't want to hear your counter-argument...that I went crazy when you all were throwing me a surprise party...I certainly did, but I didn't think you all were going to _murder me_, and I certainly did not splash boiling tea on your face or kick you in the head or call you chubby!"

With that, Pinkie stormed out of Twilight's house, tears flowing down her face. In room was in stunned silence for a moment, before being interrupted by Rainbow Dash,

"You know, I think she might be kinda upset with me." The other ponies gave her a death glare before shouting

"NO SHIT, SHERPONY!"


	2. Chapter 2: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Chapter Two: Somewhere over the Rainbow

"Rainbow Dash, you're lucky _I_ didn't murder you for making Pinkie Pie cry, not to mention severely injuring Apple Bloom," Twilight scolded Rainbow Dash the next day when the cyan pegasus had come over to her house.

"Oh, Apple Bloom will be fine...filly can bounce back from most anything," Dash said.

Completely deadpan, Twilight countered, "she needed nineteen stitches, turns out she has a hair-line fracture in her front left leg, not to mention the painful swelling from all those bruises. The doctors say it'll be about eight-to-twelve weeks before she'll be back to normal."

"Oh...ha ha...oops..guess I overdid it a little," said Dash, rubbing the back of her head. After a moment, she added, "Okay, so Apple Bloom and Applejack I can see, but why was Pinkie even more upset then they were? She didn't even have to go to the hospital!"

Twilight sighed. "The wound that's most painful to her is the emotional one...do you know what it's like for one of your friends to think you're a psychopath?"

"Ponies call be narcissistic all the time," countered Dash.

"You shrink _diagnosed_ you with narcissism," countered Twilight. "Besides, it shows a lack of trust to think she's trying to murder and cannibalise you...you're the Element of Loyalty, for Celestia's shake."

"Oh...yeah...I did kinda make some large leaps of logic and jumped to conclusions," replied Dash.

"Not just leaps...more like trans-Atlantic journeys in logic, and a jump worthy of the NBA to conclusions," noted Twilight. "When _Pinkie_ is the most logical pony in a situation, you know something is wrong."

"Yeah...Pinkie's almost as retarded as Derpy..." said Dash.

"She's actually not retarded...she's very academically talented...she did graduate first in her class at Harvard when she received her doctorate in economics," commented Twilight.

"Then why is she a baker and acts like, well, Pinkie?" asked Dash, surprised.

"Firstly, the job market is kinda slow now, and Pinkie doubled majored in economics and culinary arts during her undergrad at Vanderbilt, so she got a job at Sugar Cube Corner. And she has a very bad case of ADHD...really wish she would take some medicine," answered Twilight.

"I thought you said she was a doctor?" noted Dash.

"A doctor of _philosophy, _a Ph.D...not a medical doctor, M.D., and she's into that 'homoeopathic' crap...'oh, vaccines cause autism'...the one study that linked vaccines to autism has been thoroughly disproved...we'll see who's foals get mumps and whooping cough," Twilight responded, getting off-topic.

"Um...sure...whatever. How am I gonna get her to forgive me?" asked Dash.

Twilight rubbed her chin a minute. "I'm not really sure," she finally said. "Last night released some emotional friendship issues...I mean, I don't _mean_ to be condescending to Pinkie...her post-modernism just rubs my positive rationalism the wrong way sometimes."

Dash, clearly not understanding Twilight's last sentence, but the rest of the conversation, looked down with tears in her eyes. "I..._sob_...I really am an awful friend," she sobbed.

"Well...perhaps time will heal these wounds...and these wounds will _need _to be healed, so the Elements of Harmony can, you know, work in Harmony...when there's another Nightmare Moon or Discord," said Twilight.

Pinkie heard a knock at her front door. Lifting her head from the tear-soaked pillow, she considered the merits of answering. Once the initial rage over Dash's behaviour had left her, all that was left was a deep sadness at the truths she had finally admitted to not only herself, but to her friends.

_Perhaps I should think you, Dashie. You finally gave my subconscious enough courage to bring the regressed truth to the surface of my mind...they really do not care for me. At best, I'm just a tool...an Element of Harmony. Besides that, I'm just some luggage they have to contend with...probably Dash coming to offer some half-arsed, insincere apology...I really don't want to deal with that...but what if it is something else? I still _have_ a life, even without my 'friends'._

With that, Pinkie wiped her eyes and walked downstairs to answer the door, surprised at the identity of her visitor.

"Hello Pinkie, darling. How are you?" greeted Rarity. Pinkie just frowned.

"I...I do guess that is a silly question," Rarity said. "Listen, Pinkie...I know I haven't been the best friend to you...and I may not appreciate you as much as I should. I mean, without you, I wouldn't smile nearly as much. That's why it pains me to see that frown on you...it looks so unnatural on your happy face."

"Did Twilight have you come over, so Princess Celestia can have her precious Elements working?" asked Twilight, still frowning.

"No, darling! I just...what you said last night...struck a nerve in me...and...and..." Rarity could not continue. She caught Pinkie by surprised with a tight hug, followed by tears on Pinkie's shoulder.

"Oh...Pinkie...you're _my_ friend...and seeing you so upset broke my heart. I love you so much. To think I ever cause you pain..."

"Shh...shh...there, there...Rarity. I love you, too; and I am happy you are my friend...and I absolutely, positively hate that I am making you cry right now..."

Rarity pulled up from Pinkie's shoulder and smiled at her, eyes wet.

"Oh, Pinkie, darling...we shouldn't hurt each other...we should heal each other...did you do anything for those burns on your face?" Rarity went from sentimental to practical in a sentence.

"_sniff_...no...I was just so upset, I really didn't notice the pain...but now that you mention it, it does hurt _pretty_ bad," answered Pinkie.

"Well, I brought something to make that better," said Rarity.

About an hour later, Pinkie and Rarity were in Pinkie's bedroom, both with facial masks and cucumbers on their eyes. The special aloe cream Rarity had covered Pinkie's face in soothed the burning. Rarity broke the silence.

"Rainbow Dash is such a dunce," she said. "To think you, her best friend, of all ponies, would wish to kill her and make cupcakes from her...it would be a _comedy_ if she hadn't nearly burnt your face off."

"How's Apple Bloom," Pinkie asked.

"She had to go to the hospital...her condition required many switches and a cast for a fractured leg," answered Rarity. Pinkie shook her head,

"How she can ever show her face again.." Suddenly, her front doorbell rang. Removing the cucumbers, Pinkie and Rarity went to answer the door.

"Oh, its you...aren't you afraid I'll take you to my basement and make cupcakes out of you!" cried Pinkie when she saw Rainbow Dash at her door.

"Pinkie..listen...I-" Dash was cut off my Rarity.

"No, Rainbow Dash, _you_ listen. I believe you have caused quite enough damage. Nothing you can say can repair the damage you have done. Pinkie is the element of laughter...celestia damn _laughter_...and your stupidity took that away from her for a moment. Not to mention nearly killing a foal...yeah, Applejack told me what you did to Apple Bloom...what were you thinking? What threat does a little filly pose to the 'awesome' Rainbow Dash. Now just leave us alone."

Dash looked at Pinkie, who just gave her a hard stare before saying,

"Yeah, Rainbow Dash...leave before I turn you into a cupcake."

Defeated, Dash turned around and left Pinkie's door step.

The guilt and sadness of hurting Pinkie so was partially forgotten as Rainbow Dash finished her tenth bottle of apple cider at a local bar. The last couple of days had been hell for Dash, but her commitment to her weather job had kept her from seeking the drinking binge that would make her forget, if only for a night. Now, with a few days off and a pocket full of bits from payday, Dash was seeking to become so piss drunk she wouldn't remember her own name, much less Pinkie.

"Another cider, _hiccup,_" Dash asked the bar tender.

"Listen, lady, I think you've had enough," replied the bar tender, polishing a glass.

Dash slammed the bar with her hoof. "I'll tell you when I've had enough!" The bar tender just shrugged and filled her mug with the amber liquid.

After another couple of mugs, Dash had almost forgotten about her problems when the tv surged in volume.

"Special Alert," said the news anchor. "Police report Makela St. Lewis, the infamous Ponyville Strangler, has escaped from the maximum security prison she was being held. Police warn that St. Lewis is possibly armed and extremely dangerous. All ponies are advised to keep their doors and windows locked. If you see her, do not approach. Call the authorities as soon as possible."

"Stupid tv..._hiccup_...I'd nearly forgotten," said Dash. With that, she threw her mug into the tv, breaking it. A minute later, a bouncer was throwing Dash out the front door.

"Aw, your tv sucked, anyway!" Dash spat out. Stumbling down the streets, a light rain began.

_How appropriate...here I am, drowning my sorrows and now walking in the rain. Dear Celestia, where did my life go wrong?_

_I bucked up bad. How could I hurt Pinkie? That angel. That beautiful, pink angel. Stop thinking that, Rainbow Dash. You've burnt that bridge. She wouldn't give you the time of day, much less raise that flank in the air for you._

Suddenly, Dash heard a cry from a nearby alley.

"Pinkie!?" shouted Dash. Dash could remember Pinkie's scream from anywhere. The cold rain and adrenaline quickly sobered Dash as she rushed into the alley the cry had come from. Quickly, she came upon two pink earth pony. One laying on the ground, and another on top, hooves gripped around the other's throat. The face of the bottom pony was beginning to go blue as her eyes when those eyes caught sight of Rainbow Dash.

_Pinkie_

Screaming "RAINBOW!", Rainbow Dash flew as fast as could into the strangler, sending the strangler flying into the alley wall with a _crunch_. Forgetting the strangler, Rainbow Dash bent down to Pinkie. Pinkie was not moving.

_Oh no...oh Celestia no...wait, what was that thingy Twilight taught me...oh, yeah, CPR._

With that, Dash bent besides Pinkie and searched for that rib bone thing and placed her hooves an inch above that and began compressions. After thirty compressions, Dash tilted Pinkie's head back, pinched her nostrils, and breathed air into her mouth two times times, and then began compressions again. After four cycles of this, suddenly Pinkie began coughing and gasping air. Opening her eyes, Pinkie smiled as she saw Dash.

Catching her breath, Pinkie said, "Dashie! You saved me!"

Grabbing Pinkie in her arms, Dash said, "Yes, Pinkie. I couldn't live if you died, especially if you died mad at me. I will never hurt you again; I'll only be the best friend I can be to you."

The rain had picked up, drenching both ponies. Pinkie's hair resembled a sponge flopping behind her, while Rainbow Dash's mane stuck around her face. The rain barely concealing the river of tears from each pony, Pinkie and Dash stared into each other eyes. A new, stronger bond had been formed between them. Their lips neared each other. Just an inch to go, the two ponies were interrupted.

"Down here is where the screaming was coming from," came a voice. Pinkie and Dash stood up as flash lights neared them.

"What happened?" asked a constable, rain running down his bright yellow rain jacket with checkers.

"I was taking this alley as a short cut home when the rain started, and from the shadows the Ponyville Strangler ambushed me and began strangling me," answered Pinkie.

"I heard the scream, so I flew down here, and sent the Strangler into that wall," Dash pointed. Another constable went over to the wall and quickly returned.

"We won't have anymore trouble with the Strangler," she reported.

"She's going to be a better prison?" asked Dash.

"Eh, not exactly...her neck's broken...she dead," responded the constable.

"That's what she deserves for trying to kill my friend," said Dash.

"Not a great loss...you saved your friend...and tax payers sixty-thousand bits a year...good job," said the colt constable.

The two were taken to the police station to answer questions for the police report, as well as for a paramedic to check Pinkie over. "Mighty lucky to be alive," the paramedic had said as she examined the bruised on Pinkie's neck. "Much longer, and you would have died. That is a good friend who not only got the Strangler off you, but also knew CPR well enough to bring you back." Pinkie just smiled at Dash.

After a couple of hours, the two ponies were allowed to go home. As it was raining, Pinkie invited Dash to spend the night with her, as Pinkie's house was closer. However, Pinkie did not alternative motives for inviting Dash. Pinkie intended to reward her savior. 


	3. Chapter 3: End of the Rainbow

**AUTHOR NOTE: **The following chapter contains strong sexual scenes attended for mature audiences only. Viewer discretion advised.

Chapter Three: Pot o' Pink at the End of the Rainbow

The two ponies dried off using Pinkie's blow dryer and then had tea in Pinkie's living room. The two laughed and talked like the good friends there were. Eventually, Pinkie excused herself to go to her bedroom. A few minutes, she called out for Dash to come into her bed room. Dash followed and opened Pinkie's bed room door to find the pink pony sitting on the bed wearing that sexy teal thong and nothing else. Dash's wings shot up in the famous pegasus "wing boner".

Pinkie smiled and said coyly "You, ah, like my teal thong?" Dash just shook her head. "Bet you'd like to see my ass in this teal thong." With that, Pinkie got on all fours and stunk her ass in the air. The teal on the firm, curvy pink ass was the hottest thing Dash had ever seen. Her wing boner stiffened.

Turning around, Pinkie suggested, "Dashie, how about we do a 69...I think you better be on top," With that, Pinkie laid down, and quickly Dash was above her, face over Pinkie's private area and her ass over Pinkie's face. Pinkie acted first and began teasing Dash's anus. Dash had moaned. She's never had anything up there before. As Pinkie stunk her long, muscular tongue further into Dash's colon, Dash thought about how different Pinkie's long tongue was to Gilda's quick, sharp little tongue.

"Gee, Pinkie, you related to Gene Simmons? That's a long tongue. Hey, I could, um, take an enema or something, to make it less messy for ya," said Dash.

Slowly removing her tongue from Dash, which Dash hated, as the tongue felt so good, Pinkie responded,

"Oh, that is not necessary. I like your...chocolate...and besides, you wipe pretty good."

"Yeah, well, those moist quilted clouds with aloe and vitamin e do a good job," laughed Dash. With that, Pinkie re-inserted her long tongue. The sensation was unlike any Dash had before. Her much tighter ass and Pinkie's huge tongue caused her ass to feel full. Dash's body trembled as Pinkie's tongue stimulated her sensitive Vagus nerve. Suddenly, Dash began to hiccup.

"Huh? The alcohol should be out of my system," said Dash before hiccuping once more. Pinkie removed her tongue and said,

"The Vagus nerve connects your anus to your diaphragm...actually, if I play with it some more, it should stop." With that, Pinkie stretched her tongue deeper into Dash's ass than before, making Dash tremble violently while stopping her hiccups. While tonguing her ass, Pinkie also rubbed Dash's slit, causes the lips to grow and the slit to become moist.

Dash decided it was about time she began making Pinkie feel as good as she was making her feel. Rubbing the pink pussy until the pink lips grew and the entrance became moist, Dash inserted her tongue into Pinkie's slit. As opposed to Pinkie's slow, muscular tongue, Dash's was as agile as the rest of her, flicking over Pinkie's clit, causing the pink pony to moan as loud as she could with a mouth full of cyan ass. Dash went deeper and deeper until eventually her tongue hit a rough spot on the wall of Pinkie's vagina, causing the pink pony to buckle and moan loudly. Pinkie's hooves went to Dash's head to push her tongue back over the deep spot. Pinkie's vaginal muscles trembled as suddenly an explosion of slippery liquid splashed out of Pinkie up onto Dash's face. Licking Pinkie's juice off her face, she looked back at the pink pony panting on the bed.

"Gosh, that was great, Dashie. I haven't been fucked like that in years," panted Pinkie. As her trembling body recovered, Pinkie continued, "Now it's my turn to bring you to climax...but I think it's going to take more than my tongue." With that, Pinkie got off the bed and walked over to her dresser. Dash stared at Pinkie's pink ass as she bent over to open a drawer, coming back with a large black strap-on dildo.

"Okay...how about I ride this pony?" Pinkie asked coyly as she fastened the belt around her hips. Dash got on all fours and stuck her ass in the air for Pinkie. Dash's slit was so wet, there was no need for lub, so Pinkie just teased Dash with the tip of the dildo for a few minutes before suddenly pushing the dildo in to the hilt. Dash moaned and jumped at this. When Dash had settled down, Pinkie slowly removed the dildo until just the tip remained inside Dash. Then quickly she thrust into Dash, continuing the rhythm of exiting slowly and then quickly re-entering. Pinkie grabbed Dash's erect wings, rubbing them. Dash trembled and moaned, building to her climax. Begging Pinkie to go deeper and harder, Pinkie obliged and worked her hips as she thrust faster and with more force. After a few more minutes, Dash convulsed as liquid squirted out of her vagina around the dildo. Pinkie slowly removed the dildo, unstrapping the dildo from herself. The two panting, sweaty ponies fell asleep in each others' arms.

Rainbow Dash awoke to the smell of breakfast coming from Pinkie's kitchen. Walking downstairs, she could see Pinkie finishing making hay waffles, two plates, two forks, two glasses of orange juice, two cups of coffee, a bottle of syrup, a bowl of chopped strawberries, and a can of whipped crème on the table.

"Thanks for breakfast, Pinkie," said Dash groggily, reaching for the coffee.

"He he, when you're good to Pinkie, Pinkie's good to you," Pinkie said as she finished making the waffles and sat down at the table. Pinkie unrolled the morning paper as she sipped some coffee.

"Ha ha, you tell 'em Mallard Fillmore...Hey, Dashie, we made the paper," said Pinkie.

"Really?" asked Dash after swallowing a mouth full of waffle.

"Yeah, listen. 'Late last night, Makela St. Lewis, better known as the Ponyville Strangler, attacked Pinkamena Diane Pie. Officials say Miss Pie would have been yet another victim of the Strangler if not for the intervention of Rainbow Dash, who defended Pinkie from the Strangler, and then administered life-saving CPR on Miss Pie. In the course of the attack, the Ponyville Strangler was killed (I think I speak for all Ponyville residence when I say good riddance to bad rubbish). Miss Dash is truly hero'."

Pinkie read.

"Wow...a hero," Dash smiled, some whipped crème at the corner of her mouth. Suddenly, a knock came at the front door. Pinkie and Dash were greeted by the rest of the Mane Six when Pinkie opened the door. Quickly, Fluttershy hugged Pinkie.

"Oh, Pinkie. How awful it is you were almost...I can't say it. I'm just glad you're alive," Fluttershy said.

"We're all happy you're alive, Pinkie," said Twilight. "And we also wanted to say...we really do appreciate you, even if we sometimes do not act like it as much as we should. Without, Ponyville, and our hearts, just would not be as bright and happy." Turning to Rainbow Dash, Twilight continued, "Rainbow Dash...sometimes you are a bit brash, but that loyalty to go help a friend, not even taking a minute to think of your own safety...you're a great friend, and we are happy to have you as a friend...and are sorry we scolded you so badly...aren't we, Applejack?" Twilight nudged Applejack a few times before the orange pony spoke.

"Well, Ah reckon saving Pinkie Pie does cancel out maiming Apple Bloom...so Rainbow Dash is neutral enough to be my friend."

"I'll take that," said Dash, excitedly. "And thank you, Twilight, for teaching me CPR; without knowing how to do that, Pinkie would have died."

"Sure thing," said Twilight.

"So...everything is back to normal?" asked Rarity.

"Yep, and you know what that means," began Pinkie. "PARTY!"

With that, Pinkie pulled out her party cannon and quickly shot out a party in her living room. And so, the happy ponies partied.

THE END


End file.
